March 22, 2008

In my mind, I am pacing. I don't know what to do. I wanted to take a walk today, but it never happened.


Yeap, I don't have much to say. I'm a little whoopy from waking up after falling asleep for 20 mins. That was about 30 mins ago.
So a few weeks ago, my mom asked me what I was going to do with all this free time I will have. She was teasing because it will be difficult to find a job. I just ignored the tease and said that I would be looking for a job, and in the meantime I would be practicing! Well she then told me that she was going to make me read all of the art history books we have here. And all of the ones we have on photographers. I have no idea how many that is. But I don't mind. I thought of doing something similar anyways.

I love the stars and planets. And I want to take photos of them!! Erm. I really don't feel like I will find models any time soon...or a job. But I haven't looked yet either. I'm waiting to do that. My mom said she was going to help me out with looking at colleges and everything too. Just to make sure I didn't overlook anything.

Erm, My doggy is sick...she has infections. I'm not sure how bad she is...I have to scrape up what money I can from my stupid bank account so I can take her to the vet. I only say it's stupid because I have to leave a certain amount in it or I get charged. Hello!!! It's the only money I have, How in the stupid world am I suppose to pay a dumb fee?

Oh well. I'm off to featuring!  


I ended up deleting all of my messages : too many over a period of time...sorry...I feel bad when I don't reply or anything.

Well I hope you enjoy your day!






A young writer who has some really amazing pieces. This is the most recent "Artist Fav Feature" participant. Take a look at her gallery!
Drip DropDrip. Drop. Drip. Drop
Her tears softly dance on the floor.
She sits there, head in hands.
She sits there, wisps of hair in her mouth.
She sits there, eyes swollen.
Filled with anger.
Love being exerted in the form of her tears.
Drip, Drop.
A small portion of love left.
She sits there, staring at her phone.
She sits there, chest quivering.
She sits there, replaying the moment.
Drip, Drop.
No more love.
I stand here and watch.
I stand here, wanting to move.
I stand here, knowing i cant do anything.
My heart aches and so does hers.
Both for two completely different reasons.
She sits there, and I stand here.
-An Original <3 WinterfrostAnd it falls, ever so gracefully.
Melting on my skin, my gloves, and the ground.
So long i have waited for this moment.
The feeling sends a shiver down my spine, and yet its comforting.
I extend my arms to get the full effect.
Its as if no one else is there.
Just me and the snow.
The snow and I.
Funny how I treat it as a person.
A person who meant something to me.
A person who would hold my hand and say, "Don't worry about a thing, let ME handle it."
I laugh at the thought of someone like That being in My life.
I could almost feel the warmth as His hand brushing against mine.
No, not in a time like this. Not in a time where i sit in the corner of my "apartment."
Like that's the word to describe this dump.
No heat, no jacket, and no one else but me.
I can only dream of those two things. The two things i want most.
*But my dreams go unnoticed. Only for now.*
- An original <3 FlutterYour eyes start to flutter until
finally
they close shut.
For good.
You're tiny and just the right size to fit in my arms.
You're sucked in the dark abyss of dreams.
So young and so soon.
My tears fall onto your face.
One by one they slide off
Forever lost.
The wind blows
Your eyes flutter.
Flutter.
Giving me false hope
Hope that gets destroyed by reality
You were mine
You set me free
But now my soul is in chains
Chains that wrap around tightly
Slowing down my heart
Forcing my eyes to flutter
Flutter.
Until finally
They close shut
For good.
-An Original SwingJealousy can change a person.
Really fast.
It automatically destroys your conscience and buries it leaving no evidence of it whatsoever.
It takes over your mind, disabling it for the time being.
You lose control and swing.
You swing with your arms and words and everything else manageable.
You dont care how bad you hurt the other.
You dont care about the other, no matter how important.
To control it is hard.
If you try, you may just hurt the other a tiny bit less.
Save a little bit for next time.
And you know there will be a next time.
But how do you know whats going to happen then?
You dont.
So back away and once you think youre far enough take another couple of steps back.
If you think you can contain it, then walk away.
If not, go full on.
Get masochistic and dont hold back.
So once its all gone there wont be anything left next time.
Now i watch this go down between the two i love most hoping it wont happen.
*But my dreams go unnoticed. Only for now.*
-An Original <3
ChangedWhat happened?
It stopped.
Everything seems so quiet and still.
Where did all the "lions" and "alligators" go?
I used to be the prey.
The one they always picked on.
Tug-o-war is what they played.
Stretched me to my breaking point.
I used to be the shiny new toy everyone wanted to play with.
That shiny new toy gets used.
It gets used and after a while it gets thrown away.
My soul was thrown away with it.
Now its as if everyone cringes at my presence.
Why? Because theyre scared.
Its a new year and now I'm the predator.
Im the one who lashes out.
I attack when i want to.
I do whatever i want, when i want.
Its a new me... a changed me.
Predator
-An Original Roses Are Red...There it is.
Its what Ive been looking for.
"Is this the meaning of life?" I laugh as i speak.
Something like that wouldn't be in the worst possible location.
I spent hours wandering around and found this.
Not much at first sight but once you examine it, it's a miracle though my eyes.
A thornless rose bush.
How odd yet magnificent.
To gaze at such beauty is wonderful.
All the roses in this compact, little, isolated place are thorn less.
Makes me wonder how this came to be.
Is it the lack of predators and civilization that can such a thing occur?
But what more do i need now?
All i want to do is stare and soak in all i see.
The dew drops on the leaves.
The glow of the red and vibrant petals.
They say every rose has its thorn but not these ones.
So now im on a search for an equivalent beauty knowing i may not be able to find it.
*But my dreams go unnoticed. Only for now.*
-An Original <3 No ProgressSit down.
Read me a book, sing me a lullaby.
Tuck me in and kiss me goodnight.
Smile that gentle and sweet smile of yours.
Say my name in that soothing voice.
Please, do anything....anything.
I want you to wake up.
I want you to see what you've missed in my life.
To see how the world has changed since you've left.
Seeing you lay there makes my heart fall to pieces.
Move your fingers, toes, and breathe a little.
Do anything. to show me you're making progress.
That you're not going to stay in that state forever.
I want to see you alive and happy.
At least one more time.
No matter how much effort i put in my wish, its not going to happen is it?
So now I sit here, still wishing.
*But my dreams remain unnoticed. Only for now.*
-An original <3
"She's got this journal filled
with all her black ink guilt
and love is the only thing keeping her alive
she's got her mind made up
that all she needs is love
her heart is the only thing helping her decide
to breathe again, to breathe again"
-Jimmy